Forgiveness has really been on my heart lately since delving into an analysis of John 20:23 (my last post.) This is such a huge concept, and one that is so important. I mean think about it, as Jesus hung on that cross, in agony, embarrassment and excruciating pain, forgiveness was on his mind as he spoke the words: "Father forgive them... they don't know what they are doing."
There is a new woman in my life. She and I have been dating (I questioned whether to say dating or courting... the Christian dating world is such an odd one isn't it?) for a few months now and getting to know each other.
Her and I have both come from a fairly long term relationship that seemed to be heading towards marriage when we realized our significant other didn't share our desire to mature in our faith. After making difficult decisions that the trajectory of our spiritual lives was and is more important than those relationships we broke them off and spent some time being single. (Short summary)
Now that we have found eachother and desire to grow together we've been discussing our past relationships in an effort to dig up any baggage now so we can deal with it and move forward.
I have been asking myself tough questions about forgiveness and what it really means.
We live in a culture that is so fixated on revenge. When someone wrongs us we want them to "get what's coming to them".
There was a shooting several years ago in an Amish community where a gunmen went in to an Amish school house and shot 6 young girls in the back execution style before taking his own life. The massacre made headlines all over the country, but soon another story followed that seemed to swallow up the news of the tragedy. It was the amazing story about how the Amish were able to forgive the shooter.
Apparently several fathers of some of the girls who were shot went over to the house of the gunmen and offered his wife words of forgiveness and kindness. They even gave a large sum of money to the wife for an education fund for the children of the man who killed their daughters.
Independently a few miles away several other members of the Amish community went over to the shooters parents house and offered similar words of forgiveness and kindness and told them they hoped they wouldn't move away, but would remain a part of the local community.
This story floored me.
A grandfather of one of the young girls that was killed was questioned by the local media how he felt about the tragedy. He answered "confused." They asked if he had forgiven the shooter. He said "In my heart, yes." They then asked him a great question: What does it mean to forgive?
He answered: "Forgiveness is giving up my right to revenge."
Wow.
It's true isn't it? We haven't truly forgiven someone unless we stop desiring that they "get what's coming to them." In fact, when we are storing up bitter feelings about someone who wronged us and are sort of waiting for something bad to happen to them, what we're really saying is that we don't trust God to take care of this for us. It's like we don't trust God with the situation because we don't know what he'll do. What if he extends mercy?
Well isn't that what he did for us?
Another observation: how did the Amish get to the place where they were able to set up education funds for the children of the shooter? I think true forgiveness isn't just giving up our desire for revenge... but we also have to wish the person well. I need to be able to hope that good will actually come their way.
This seems so impossible and so against the grain of our culture... but the Amish grandfather had one more answer for the reporters.
When they asked him, "how is that possible?"
He said, "With God, all things are possible."
So it's my prayer that I can be aware of those in my life that I still feel wronged by. That I can give up my desire for them to be paid back for whatever they did to me, and that I can actually wish them well.
And in setting them free from my bitter resentment, I'm sure I'll find I'm the one who was set free.
Nate,
ReplyDeletethat is a great post on forgiveness. I appreciate you sharing.
Forgiveness is definitely going against the grain in our culture but you have pointed out one thing that is more opposed to forgiveness than the culture; us, in our sinful nature.
You have also given me something to think about, something that had never occurred to me before: you said Jesus was embarrassed as he hung on the cross.
I'm not even sure I agree, but I can't argue the point because I have never considered that before.
Very interesting.
Great post. Thanks.
So, I'm wondering if you could define embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if I buy it yet with the definitions of that word that I have seen.
Here is what the dictionary defines forgiveness as:
ReplyDelete–verb (used with object)
1. to cause confusion and shame to; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert; abash: His bad table manners embarrassed her.
2. to make difficult or intricate, as a question or problem; complicate.
3. to put obstacles or difficulties in the way of; impede: The motion was advanced in order to embarrass the progress of the bill.
4. to beset with financial difficulties; burden with debt: The decline in sales embarrassed the company.
--> I suppose it's rather human for us to consider than Christ was embarrassed as he hung there. I mean the ridicule, the torment, the crown of thorns... hanging naked and bleeding as a public spectacle.
Crucifixion was certainly designed to be an event... the Roman empire used it to make a statement... and if nothing else I think this satisfies the definition "to make uncomfortability conscious". But I would even argue that Jesus was abashed while hanging on the cross.
But I think the human side of Jesus would feel embarrassment just as it's natural for me to assume so when I reflect on what he endured.
In fact, I would assume the argument against Jesus feeling thsi way would be his close commune with the Father... the fact that he knew it was his purpose. But even in the garden we see the very human side of Jesus when he asks that if the cup can be taken from him, please take it.
Then as he hangs on the cross he calls out "Father why have you forsaken me?" Most commentary I've read on this suggests the severed relationship between Jesus and the Father as the sin of the world rested on him.
So in an hour of lonliness, pain, anguish, exhaustion and a severed commune with his heavenly Father I don't think its a stretch to assume Jesus was embarrassed.
Not to mention feebling dragging the heavy cross up the hill to his crucifixion site.
"I think this satisfies the definition "to make uncomfortability conscious".
ReplyDeleteThe definition says "uncomfortably self-conscious".
Self-conscious is defined as "aware of oneself as an individual being; uncomfortably over-conscious of one's appearance or behaviour." Now, if by embarrassment you meant Jesus was aware of himself that would seem to me to be a poor choice of words. If you meant "uncomfortably over-conscious of one's appearance or behavior" I think you miss the mark with that word.
"But I would even argue that Jesus was abashed while hanging on the cross."
I found this definition for abash: "to make ashamed; to embarrass; to destroy the self-possession of; to confuse or confound, as by exciting suddenly a consciousness of guilt, mistake, or inferiority; to put to shame; to disconcert; to discomfit; to lose self-possession; to become ashamed". All those definitions seem to include shame, guilt, mistake, or inferiority. None of those things would be appropriate to attribute to Jesus, would they? So what do you mean by abash; I'm not familiar with that word and how it is used.
"But I think the human side of Jesus would feel embarrassment just as it's natural for me to assume so when I reflect on what he endured."
Again, that depends on what you mean by embarrassment. The definition you provided seems to rule it out in my opinion. But I'm wondering what exactly you meant by embarrassment.
You defined the verb to embarrass. But, you used 'embarrassment' as a noun describing a state of being. Here is a definition I found:
1) a state of discomfort arising from bashfulness; a state of confusion arising from hesitation or difficulty in choosing
Again, this doesn't seem appropriate. so, I'm still wondering what you meant in saying Jesus hung on the cross in embarrassment. I know embarrassment could mean a lot of things but I'm wondering what you meant in using the term. It seems to me that most people would think that embarrassment entails shame, insecurity, or perhaps wrongdoing. I would agree that part of the crucifixion was to try and shame the crucified person but the way you used the word embarrassment it seemed as though you were attributing that state of being to Jesus and from what I have read thus far that would be inappropriate.
Btw, I'm getting my definitions from www.ninjawords.com . I'm not sure how they compare to other dictionaries but they seem quite similar.
I'm not 100% sure if I'm just defending this because I wrote it originally and I like argumentation... or if I really believe it, none the less...
ReplyDeleteI would agree Jesus would not be embarrassed because of any inferiority or shame related to wrong-doing.
Nor do I think that Jesus suffered from any form of low self-esteem about his appearance or financial status! Haha (One of the definitions, PS- I use www.dictionary.com, though I like the sound of ninja words.)
I do however think it is a natural human reaction to feel embarrassed because they are hanging mostly naked and bleeding on a cross in a public area while being ridiculed.
I remember one time when I was at camp (it was a camp for public school, some sort of leadership thing) they were telling ghost stories around the camp fire.
I was young and at the time associated ghost stories with demonic stories because I grew up in a crazy pentecostal atmosphere... so I told one of the leaders I had to leave and the reason I gave had a spiritual context (Hey come on, I was young).
I remember the leader and a few of the other kids began to poke fun at me, and at Christianity.
Now I knew what I believed was true... I was quite sure my decision and convictions were right... but I was still embarrassed in that group setting as I was made fun of and ridiculed publicly.
Perhaps it's irreverent to attribute that sort of emotion to our Lord... and that's certainly not my aim. I just often try to relate to Christ's humanness in certain circumstances because we are called to follow his earthly model.
So I would say the way I meant embarrassed is that jesus felt self conscious physically about being shamed physically (naked, bleeding, the crown of thorns), that he would be uncomfortable as people hurled insults at him, and that he would feel wronged because he was betrayed by many that he had likely preached to, and healed.
Now, for clarification. Often if we feel embarrassed it turns into frustration, anger and a desire for revenge. I don't suggest any of these reactions were present in Jesus. In fact we see him say "Father forgive them"-- so whether feeling wronged was part of it or not, he certainly didn't hold that against them.
I do however think it is a natural human reaction to feel embarrassed because they are hanging mostly naked and bleeding on a cross in a public area while being ridiculed.
ReplyDeleteI see what you're saying. But, it is also a natural human reaction to hold bitterness in one's heart when we've been wronged or feel smug when we get praised. I give those examples because the argument that 'it is natural for humans to do' does not work when we talk about Jesus. I realize you know this.
So I would say the way I meant embarrassed is that Jesus felt self conscious physically about being shamed physically (naked, bleeding, the crown of thorns), that he would be uncomfortable as people hurled insults at him, and that he would feel wronged because he was betrayed by many that he had likely preached to, and healed.
That sounds more palatable. And I guess I figured that is where you were heading in your original post. However, I think most people, myself included, would associate embarrassment with shame, insecurity,or wrong-doing. That is why I asked for a clarification.
Now, for clarification. Often if we feel embarrassed it turns into frustration, anger and a desire for revenge. I don't suggest any of these reactions were present in Jesus. In fact we see him say "Father forgive them"-- so whether feeling wronged was part of it or not, he certainly didn't hold that against them.
Nicole suggested to me that if Jesus was embarrassed he was so in a perfect and pure manner. I concede that is true but I'm not sure what that would look like.